Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
