Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
