community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
