so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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