i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
