question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
