Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
