I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
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