I wish I could teleport
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
