That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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