just tell him i said nine months
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
