your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize