he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
