4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
