I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
