Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
