no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
