Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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