My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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