The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
