You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just google imaged poop.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
