im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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