Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's blow job season.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize