Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
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just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize