Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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