just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize