I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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