Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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