The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
