Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
