i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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