i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
