So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
