East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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