id be glad to
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
