im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
