whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
