Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
