Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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