a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
