That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We need to get me chipped asap
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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