I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
