well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
