I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
