if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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