Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
