You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
