Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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