oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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