I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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