GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
