Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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