About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you inspire me to be a worse person
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
