We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You're like the curious george of whores
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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