but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize