too bad you live with your parents still
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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