Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
