omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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