Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
