gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
