Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
