You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
