So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize