This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
