I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
