is your mom at the bar?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
