Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Holy shit dude........stairs
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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