Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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