i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
